How to use Suffering as a Guide

If I am the absolute “no-thing” and if “nothing real can be harmed” how am I to navigate in the “relative” around social issues and injustice?

This is a really important topic and one that is very confusing especially when, as Adyashanti points out in Stage 3, we “lose our rudder…”

What is Stage 3? Well Stage 3 is that point when we’ve had a direct experience of the truth through what I like to call a “Satori” (a Zen term) which is essentially a brief (and usually nonpermanent) glimpse of simple direct truth.

D.T. Suzuki described it as like any other moment except “two inches off the ground!”

And by that he meant that while we still perceive through human senses our attachment to the perception is so lessened that we feel “freer” and “lighter.”

Once this is seen directly we often see that worldly matters are not as important as they once seemed to be.

This is where the old Christian term “in the world but not of it” begins to make sense.

So, how then do we navigate the relative world when our freedom and our new sense of self lies outside of it?

Formerly, we created a “me” who had opinions, beliefs, and stories. That “me” also had tribal “in-groups” and “out-groups” which it used as guidelines for social interactions.

But all of those social strategies are driven by the ego - by the sense of separation as a small singular form. And ALL decisions made from that space, no matter HOW egalitarian or compassionate they wish to be, are actually self-driven.

If it’s my “in-group” I’m more forgiving. I’m more compassionate. I empathize more.

If it’s my “out-group” the slightest error or perceived sin can be punished with the most violent measures.

Indeed it is often the case that anyone in the “out-group” can even be tortured or killed.

And many wars and terrible acts of violence have been engaged from this singular self-focused and terribly violent world view.

How, as egos, can we predict how another will act in any tribal adversarial encounter? Well, which tribe do they identify with? If we know that answer, we have a high degree of probability of predicting their behavior.

It is a rare person indeed that can act independently of tribal concerns.  And when push comes to shove, even those who believe themselves “beyond such things” will almost always, in the end, “choose a side.”

So, how does this differ from Christ’s “'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.'” (Matthew 25:40) quote?

Which tribe is Christ affiliated with?

Well, the answer is none.

This is a view from beyond the sense of separation, from beyond the identification with a single small “me.”

And from it one can see that if ANYONE is suffering, especially those in positions of “the least” or “the least powerful” then I am suffering.

And, as the Buddha points out on many occasions in his Dharma teachings, suffering is the new “rudder” one uses to guide one’s actions.

It is interesting that as a guide suffering is just as useful in the pursuit of Relative AND Absolute truths.

I will begin with the Relative.

In this Relative plane of existence, in this relative form-based existence, at least in this membrane of the multi-verse “big pushes around little.”

Those are the rules.

And this doesn’t always apply to mere size, though that is the most common expression of this rule, it is also true in many other power dynamics.

For instance, in terms of gravity, the Relative size of a black hole is very small. It’s so small that the term for it is a “singularity” meaning that is it so small it has transcended space-time as we know it.

And yet, its Relative gravitational “size” is so great that it “pushes” around other objects (it pulls them, but in terms of what I’m pointing to there is no difference.)

So what does it mean to be the smaller object in this universe?

It means powerlessness. It means a lack of autonomy. And in cases where there are sensory apparatus to generate the state, it means suffering. The smaller object, when it is being pushed and pulled, is often experiencing suffering of one kind or another.

And recently in the world, a form of suffering has been center stage. What kind of suffering from a lack of power are we talking about? Well, it’s the Relative suffering of the “least of us” in terms of socio-economic power.

And, here in the United States, though there are some close “runner ups” – Native Americans come to mind -  African Americans are indeed the “least of us” in Relative measurements of power in terms of Social and Economic influence.

So what does it mean when people suffer and others are unable to sense that suffering as “my suffering?”

It means that through some egoic mechanism that the people suffering have been placed in an “out-group.”

And, as it’s already been stated, any violence to someone in my “out-group” is not felt personally; indeed it can feel like a relief or some kind of outlet for my Pain Body’s anger or fear.

So it’s not enough that I am merely able to look away to ignore their suffering, in fact, in many cases I’m glued to the scene and cheering it on. I’ve developed some stories, beliefs, and strategies in which those “alien others” “deserved it”  - they deserved to be punished for their sins (not noticing that when we are judging other’s sins they are usually sins we perceive in ourselves, but that’s a point for another time…)

And yet the central driving mechanism of this distorted and violent world view is the ego - the “little me.” And the component parts of this “little me” are my beliefs, ideas, and stories and precious in those stories are my list of victim stories and old unresolved grievances that I need villains for.

And who better for those villains? Well, anyone in my “out-group.”

How do we get out of this violent cycle?

We follow the suffering. We let it into our hearts.

This was seen directly with say gay marriage. And Social Media, for all its downsides, does indeed have the upside of connecting people through photos and stories.

Someone posts a photo of a gay couple who have loved one another for say 40 years, who have lived together and shared their lives, and who are denied access to their loved one’s hospital room because it’s “family members only…”

And it sinks into our hearts. We see the insanity of such an arbitrary rule when they clearly ARE family members joined in life and love.

And the poll numbers shift.

First, the country was so anti-gay marriage that even the so-called “liberal candidates” were afraid of coming out for it.

Then, in a very short amount of time those numbers shift.

Why?

The suffering of the injustice was allowed into our open hearts…

That suffering lead to the obvious truth that who we love and how we share our lives is no one else’s business to determine by law or bigotry.

Now, let’s turn to the issue of late. Recently a man was murdered over 20 dollars.

“Robbed?? By some random drug addict??” you ask?

Nope. Killed by 4 police officers while he cried out for his mother.

Over 20 dollars.

Let that sink into your heart.

Don’t close it by attempting to place him in an “out-group” open it and let that in.

His horrific suffering as 4 grown men held him down and choked his air over 20 dollars needs to permeate our open hearts if we are to EVER come to see the Relative truth that the “least of us”- the least in terms of social and economic power -  are suffering, and if they are, then I AM.

And I will say this directly and clearly:

“If you are a spiritual practitioner and are unable or unwilling to do this you are NOT moving toward enlightenment, you are hiding in the Absolute and spiritually bypassing Relative Truth.”

Period. There is no exception to this rule.

If you are using the Absolute to hide and close your heart to the suffering in the Relative you are NOT enlightened and have no business teaching or talking about it.

It is not until one has an open heart – a COMPLETELY OPEN HEART – alongside that quiet mind that abides in the Absolute that one has attained enlightenment.

And anything and anyone excluded from that heart is proof that it is still partially closed in one way or another.

There is still some dark work – or core work – to be done.

No exceptions.

Now, back to what rudder to use:

If you are asking me “I no longer trust my mind’s stories, strategies, and beliefs to guide me in the Relative world, should I just live in a monastery or a cave?? If I don’t use my ego and mind to guide me what do I use?”

We use suffering. How do we experience that suffering? We experience it directly through our open heart.

An open heart will connect us with the suffering and allow us to see the truth directly.

No bypassing with the mind or with “spiritual states.”

Just direct – connected – oneness with the object that the heart experiences.

Once this is accomplished what is done to the least of them will be done to you.

And this is the answer to “what do I use as a guide in the Relative?”

You use suffering.

As for how suffering is a guide to the Absolute? Well, I just wrote a book on that subject, but a simplified version is that suffering leads to surrender, and what we surrender to is what is, and when we do so we find that what we surrender to is merely our Selves.

We are what we surrender to.

I am that which I perceive.

I am the absolute.

And suffering was my guide.